Cats of Chaos

Little Monsters

catsofchaos — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 22:12:30 +0000

Hi Tanuki here,
OK the studio brought three little monsters into the house without even asking me. They say they’re kittens, but I don’t believe it. All they do is run around making little foot step noises all day and night and they keep getting bigger…I’m not happy about this. Got to go somebody’s coming and I’m still banned from the computer because of my comment about outside cats being stupid

Dogs

catsofchaos — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:20:03 +0000

Hi Tanuki here, while the studio is busy re-mastering the old Cats of Chaos cuts for the re-issue I thought I’d mention something we cats have been putting up with. We have to share the house with dogs. Now normally it’s not too bad I mean they are annoying but I nothing that a good sharp claw can’t take care of. Sick dogs are another story, what do they think, the floor is a toilet? That is bad enough and then the smell of the clorox when my human servants clean up the mess. So I think the dogs have to go, that’s all I’m saying just open the door shove them out and bye bye…

The Cat Massage Lady

catsofchaos — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:02:37 +0000

Hi Tanuki here, I found out about professional cat massage while watching David Letterman on TV last night. Now this really ticks me off, the studio is making good money from our records and they haven’t offered me a professional massage.

The Catfish on Their Breath

catsofchaos — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:42:33 +0000

Hi Tanuki here, I can’t believe what my human servants did last night. They didn’t get home from their other jobs until like nine so my dinner was late! They didn’t offer any good reason but I knew they went out to see some other band play because I could smell the smoke on their clothes and the catfish on their breath. Did they bring any home for us cats? No! I would have protested right away but I was really hungry so I just ate my food. Now I’ve got to come up with a plan to keep them in line. If you have any ideas post a comment below…

AP: Cats of Chaos Rocker Bites Management!

catsofchaos — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:34:12 +0000

Nashville – Rascal of the popular rock band Cats of Chaos is in the news again today, this time for allegedly biting one of the studio managers at Reverb King Records (the studio is where the cats live). A band spokesperson said the incident happened when Rascal got frustrated at the prospect of being forced into retirement. There is an ongoing dispute between, the two remaining original members Rascal and Cleo, and the three newer members Blue ‘BB Kitty’ Brown, Ashes Brown and Tanuki Cat. The three younger cats were brought in by the studio when original members Psycho, Moog and Miracle (aka Monster, Booger Kitty) passed away. These shots were taken just before and just after the alleged attack occurred while management was explaining options to the aging rocker.

Rascal was heard to say, “They think I’m past it but I can rock harder and handle my nip better than any of these young cats…” In a prepared statement studio management said “… it’s bad enough when you are dealing with musicians but these cats are wild animals at heart and they get excited at times.” No charges have been filed at this time.

Classic Cats of Chaos re-issue

catsofchaos — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 16:13:53 +0000

I’ve been talking to Cleo and Rascal and they have agreed to retire if a rerelease of some of the older Cats of Chaos songs doesn’t sell. They said if the fans don’t want them anymore they will step down and let the young cats take over the band. Now I have to talk to the studio and see if they will do it.

BB Kitty

More Power to the Cats!

catsofchaos — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:42:40 +0000

Hi Tanuki here, this thanksgiving thing is really getting on my nerves. Our human servants left and to make it even worse they took the dogs with them. I mean if they wanted to go somewhere they should have taken me to get my share of the turkey but no, they left us alone at the studio. We ran low on food and the litter boxes weren’t cleaned for 3 days while they were gone. Then when they came home they acted like it was no big deal, argh! I would have gone on a hunger strike but I really like food so I’m writing about it instead so put your angry protest comments below, more power to the cats!

Apology to Outside Cats

catsofchaos — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:53:28 +0000

Hi Tanuki here, looks like I got in trouble for saying cats that live outside are stupid but I didn’t mean all cats that live outside. I just don’t get it though why don’t they just find a nice house and live inside? Anyway, I’m supposed to apologize so I’m sorry.

There now that I’ve got that out of the way here’s the thing, the litter box hasn’t been very clean lately and I’m not happy about it. I mean its bad enough that I have to share the box but sometimes they don’t change the litter for days and why does Rascal get her own box? I know she’s a founding member of the band but she hasn’t written a new song in a long time and should be retired by now anyway. This whole litter box thing stinks so leave me some comments telling the studio that I should have my own box and it should have new litter every day.

More Turkey For the Cats!

catsofchaos — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:27:20 +0000

Hi Tanuki here, with Thanksgiving less than a week away I have a serious complaint. We cats just aren’t getting our fair share of turkey. We are forced to smell it cooking all day and then all the people gather round and gorge themselves but do the cats get any, no. And don’t get caught trying to sneak some, man do they get uptight, like licking the turkey is a big deal. I guess it could be worse we could have to live on the streets like some people and not have human servants to take care of us. Check this out

http://nashvillemusicbuzz.wordpress.com/2009/11/20/the-invisible-man/

You know there are a lot of homeless cats out there too. I hear the one’s that hang out near restaurants have it pretty good but some cats have to live out in the country and hunt for their own food. I don’t really understand why they don’t just live inside and get themselves some human servants to bring them food, maybe they’re just stupid cats…

Cleo crapped on the floor again!

catsofchaos — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:18:38 +0000

Look Tanuki face the facts, my little sister Ashes is cute, don’t be getting all freaked out because she’s on the CD cover. And don’t think I don’t see you watching me from back there…

More importantly, I can’t believe Cleo crapped on the floor again! You’re right we do have to retire her from the band and maybe then they’ll kick her out of the house. I mean we all get in trouble every time something like that happens so let’s just kick her out, and Rascal too!

BB Kitty